Body Girdles

Imagine putting two flat screen plasma TV’s side by side in your living area smack dab in front of your couch. You’ve got beer, snacks a-lots and fresh batteries in your clicker.

1 Television has an NFL game on and the other has a Major League Baseball game and they each start at the very same time.

In addition to this being lots of sports fans’ notion of hog heaven and even far better than clicking back and forth in between games with only one particular Tv, it is exciting to watch the differences among these two pro sports. Watching the NFL on Television is a weekly ritual baseball is on each and every night of the week, but watching the two combined is pretty much as rewarding as joining a Cowboy cheerleader snuggle-fest.

And that’s exactly what I did not too long ago (not the snuggle-fest, but the two TV’s factor). Here’s what occurred:

The football game started with a massive kick to the opposing team, and a line of 250-pound plus guys with murder in their eyes began charging right after the poor slob who caught the ball. Just after a few seconds he was crushed by his pursuers, becoming the bottom man in a pretty scary adult male pig-pile. MLB players have a tendency to be a little mellower and less physical, but all pro players in any sport need to have to be powerful. Football players take steroids, baseball players get caught.

Meanwhile, the MLB game began off a little much less fascinating. My heart rate and pulse started to slow down as I watched the catcher and pitcher play catch as the batter just stood there spitting and adjusting his crotch. I got speedily bored and turned back to the NFL game.

In a matter of a three minute span two men had been injured, with one particular obtaining his ankle relocated to his armpit. A touchdown was scored, the ball changed hands twice, and a complete lot of tackling, smashing, crunching and finger-breaking happened.
Football is much more of an immediate gratification, ADD-friendly game to watch.

I glanced back at the MLB game for a couple of minutes. Two strikeouts and four fly outs came and went and we have been currently in the second inning, with small action to show for it. A baseball game is more of a sensible-old-man kind of sport, exactly where patience and number-crunching are paramount. It reveres serenity.

Football reveres mayhem. Watching football gets me angry and all charged up. Watching baseball tends to make me sleepy. In truth, I commonly like to watch the first two or 3 innings, fall asleep, and then wake up to catch the last handful of innings. Watching football players hit each other full force and light each other up is exciting, and dozing is out of the question. Watching a single grown man with ball in glove chase one more grown man to tag him in a pickle is type of funny.

As ten,000 commercials played on the football Tv, I had a handful of minutes to catch up on my MLB game. Lastly, in the bottom of the third, a man hit the ball and dropped it in the ideal field gap for a single. All the baseball players, including the guy running up to initial base, seemed pretty pleasant. Why not be? They have been playing in a nice park, on a good warm and sunny day and no a single had even broken a sweat but. The batter reached initial base and began chatting with the opposing team’s 1st baseman. They began smiling and possessing a fantastic time with each and every other. My lip-reading expertise are not what they made use of to be but I feel I saw a single say to the other, “Hi Johnny! How’s the wife performing? It’s been a when considering that we saw her. We’ve got to get with each other sometime quickly.”

Increasing restless, I turned back to the NFL game just in time to see a single man standing over a writhing and groaning man on the turf. I assume I saw his lips yelling, “Hey Bruno, though we were obtaining breakfast together this morning, your wife told me to tackle you into subsequent Tuesday, did I do a fantastic job?”

In the extremely subsequent play a operating back was nailed in a bone-splitting tackle. Indeed, his bone did split, and then protruded right out of his bloody skin causing a wave of nausea to spread over the crowd.

ลิงค์ดูบอล but horrified, I quickly turned to the baseball game and witnessed a wild pitch hit the batter on the finger. The batter yelped and had to sit the rest of the game out, his pinky was smarting.

To replace the bone-sticking-out-of-his-leg guy in the NFL game, a bulky player with flowing dreadlocks sticking out of his helmet started lumbering onto the field. He had a enormous cast on his arm that looked like a major club. With the hand entirely encased, forming a major bulbous weapon, he shook it as his opponents in defiance whilst possibly struggling to stick 1 unique finger up, and then reluctantly joined the huddle.

It was nearing the halftime and so numerous timeouts had been called that they seemed to have run out of commercials to play. So the cameras started scanning the crowd. It was a lot colder where this game was getting held, and I could see people’s breath. I also saw a guy in shorts and no shirt who had painted his skin from head to toe in his NFL team’s colors. His head was shaved and also painted, and he was wearing a huge pig’s nose on his face.

As I briefly scanned the crowd on the other Television, I saw lots of people in button down, quick sleeve shirts, baseball caps and gloves on, waiting expectantly for that ever-elusive foul ball.

The first half started to wind down in the NFL game, and I actively awaited gratuitous shots of hot cheerleaders. I was rewarded with lots of silly pompom waving and cleavage. I then happily turned back to the MLB game but only saw three heavy-set females shoving sausage dogs and peanuts in their mouths.

At halftime I got a possibility to go to the bathroom and grab yet another cold beer and additional snacks. There is by no means a big break in baseball, and every time I go to the bathroom when watching baseball I constantly miss the significant play, which of course occurred this time too.

My MLB game continued to plod along when I got back, inducing the exclusive ball-strike-out hypnotic state that only baseball can result in. I was about to doze off when I was jarred out of my trance by the flashy touchdown dance I saw on my other Tv. The guy who just scored was moonwalking across the uprights whilst flapping his arms like wings. He then proceeded to do a magnificent swan dive which turned into a double summersault with a twist and finally landed completely on the field.